By: Sharon Lechter
As you might know, empowering women to take control of their finances is a central theme across my life’s work. It’s critical – because women are so busy caring for everyone else, they often neglect themselves.
And I want to dive into that topic again, and often – but not today. Today, I simply want to take a moment to give mothers a well-deserved and proverbial pat on the back. As a mother of three, and now grandmother of 3, I know you’ve earned it. (If you’re not a mother, read on. Chances are you’ve got one, will become one, or know one!)
My roles as both a mother – and a grandmother – are rewarding ones. Motherhood especially is hard work. And guilt seems to go hand-in-hand with the territory – it’s something that binds all of us mothers together. Working mothers feel they’re missing out on time with their children; full-time mothers demand perfection from themselves. We all worry about achieving balance in love, career and family – but when you’re in balance, you’re neither moving ahead or forward.
In my view – balance is over-rated and almost impossible to achieve. Plus – it’s one more thing to feel guilty about!
Certainly, all mothers feel torn and stretched across our many, many roles. And, we worry whether we’re doing it all right. So what do I want you to give yourself for Mother’s Day?
That’s right – give yourself a “pass” on the guilt for today. Remember – you are the heart and soul of your family.
You’re the one who forgives your kids for staying out past curfew; for forgetting to inform you they need 2-dozen cupcakes for the class party tomorrow; for letting the dog swim in the pool. You forgive your husband for forgetting your anniversary; for criticizing your casserole; for neglecting to pick up his socks. It’s what wives and/or mothers do – we teach, we model, and above all, we forgive. Because the people in our houses have a way of making mistakes. Daily!
So on Mother’s Day, why not give yourself that same measure of grace? With so many balls in the air, some are going to drop to the ground. It’s inevitable – and it’s OK. Don’t analyze all that you’ve done wrong. Instead, focus on what you’ve done right. If you don’t like a choice you made, make efforts toward a new one – and don’t look back.
Look ahead. Move forward. Keep going, and keep forgiving yourself with the same bandwidth you give to everyone else.
Happy Mother’s Day – now, and every day!
(Don’t worry. We’ll talk finances again soon!)