Mentoring

How to Make Change | A Quick Guide for Living a Better Life

To bring more into your life, you have to become more. To do that you have to make changes, which can be stressful or feel a little overwhelming. I want to make change easier for you, with this quick guide for living a better life. Below are questions I often get asked by mentoring clients and people in my community. The information I share will guide you on how to make changes that work for you and where you are right now in your life.

How to Change Your Life

Positive change in your life starts with understanding you better. We often spend a lot of time getting to know a new friend or potential partner, but when was the last time you took time out to really get to know yourself?

Many people will say that they know themselves well, but I ask, “Can you tell me your personal values, core beliefs and non-negotiable standards? Do you know the things that truly make you feel fulfilled?”

Most people can’t quickly answer those questions. But to live your best life, you have to know those answers and you are the only person who can decide what those things are for you.

When you put your focus there, you can’t go wrong. That focus can go no other place but to your best life!

PRO TIP – When you figure out your personal values be sure to define them for yourself. Get clear on what they mean to you and why they bring meaning to your life. Then ask yourself:

  • What behaviors accompany those values?
  • How will you know when you are acting them out in your life?
  • How can you use your values to guide the way you make decisions moving forward?

These deep insights into you and the things that make you tick, are a great start for living a much better life.

How can I mentally change my life?

Every change starts in the mind first. It starts by noticing what you like and what you don’t. Then it requires you to make a decision to change what isn’t working or do more of what is.

On New Years Eve, many people make resolutions, but by February they fall back into old habits again. That is because they don’t go to the next level by asking themselves:

  • What will I get that I don’t have now?
  • How much do I want this?
  • What am I willing to sacrifice to get it?

They decide on a direction, but they don’t go deeper and try to understand the meaning behind the change. It’s the meaning that pulls you forward, instead of making you push all the time. Pushing makes you tired, and that means it’s easy to fall back into your old way of being, especially when the change comes with challenges, which isn’t going to get you to that better life you want.

This leads me to another very important question you must ask yourself: Who do I need to become to make this change?

This is a secret for mentally making change that works – you have to think and make decisions like the person who already has what you want. It’s an identity shift. And when you start thinking and acting like the future version of you who already has what you want, that life has to come to you. When you are in full alignment, there can be no other result.

Something to note here when it comes to making mental changes: As soon as you want to make change, the inner critic in your head will start getting louder. That’s the voice that will tell you that you aren’t ready, you don’t know what you’re doing and/or you really don’t have what it takes. This is happening because it wants to keep you in your comfort zone, where it’s predictable. For your brain, predictability equals safety, even if you really don’t want to be where you are.

But once you know what’s happening, you can take steps to combat that inner critic by leaning into what it is saying. Start by asking yourself:

  • Is what it’s saying true?
  • If so, what do you need to do to get past the challenge? There is always a way to get around it.
    • Do you need to learn more?
    • Enhance your skills?
    • Delegate to someone else?
    • Have someone mentor you?
  • If its not true, take the time to get really clear on why it’s not true. That way, any time your inner critic brings it up again, you can keep reminding it why you are capable, which will quiet the voice and boost your confidence at the same time – a win/win for you!

Your inner critic does have your best interest at heart, and if you keep that in mind and work with it, you can navigate the mental changes with greater ease, helping you live a better life faster!

How can I change my life perfectly?

Perfection. It’s such a sticky thing. On the surface it seems like a good standard to work toward, but in reality, it comes with hidden layers, holding us back from what we really want, as we sit waiting for the ideal state or situation to develop or arrive.

This is where you have to work on your skills of self awareness and ask yourself why are you really holding back? Is it because you:

  • Fear judgement?
  • Fear failure?
  • Fear success?
  • Have unrealistically high expectations for yourself?
  • Worry about humiliation?

It’s important to understand where the need for perfection is coming from, and why you might be using it to stay in your comfort zone, where you can’t live a life better than what you have right now.

Please note: This can be a very difficult area to come to terms with inside yourself. It can even trigger traumas that you may not know you have. If you are experiencing anxiety or depression around a need for perfection, please reach out to a professional. They will be able to give you the skills and tools you need to live the life you want and deserve to have.

 

How can I fix my life and be happy?

This really takes us back to the very beginning and the question, “What makes you feel fulfilled?”

Remember, you are the only one who can decide what fulfillment is for you. It simply can’t come from anyone outside you. Not a parent, spouse, friend, colleague or boss, even when they are well intentioned. And if you try to live life making others happy, you will on the overall, pull yourself away from the things that make you happy.

Your happiness lives inside the things that make you feel fulfilled. When you decide to make a change and fix your life by focusing on your feeling of fulfillment, you will:

  • Lower your stress levels
  • Boost your self esteem and confidence
  • Increase your feelings of joy
  • Improve your relationships and connections
  • And so much more!

All things that will help you feel happier!

And even better, when you find ways to combine the things that fulfill you, with ways you can serve others through those things, you will get to increase that great feeling to even higher levels!

Not only will you get to fix your life and be happy, but you will also find that by focusing on the things that light you up, you become a beacon of light that shines brightly, for yourself and others. By becoming that kind of beacon of light, you will be living a better life.

Actually, you will be living your best life…and isn’t that worth making a change?

If you would like a little more inspiration for making change in your life, I invite you to access my ATM. It’s where you get daily deposits of Abundance, Tips and Mentoring directly from me, delivered right to your email or text. Click here to learn more.

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