We all have good habits that move us toward the things we want in our lives and we also have those ones that don’t necessarily support the long-term outcomes we desire. Becoming a lot more conscious and intentional about the differences between the two, is how you can become more purposeful in your life and attain the level of success you want instead of getting stuck drifting in the status quo.
What habits are and how they form.
A habit is something you do regularly and repeatedly, often without thought. It’s your usual way of behaving, which is why our habits and our identities are so intertwined.
We form habits because our brains love patterns and predictability. The brain’s real job is to keep us safe and the more consistent we are in our daily practices, the easier it becomes for our brains to conserve energy and still protect us.
This is why making changes can be difficult and also why it is so easy to slip back into our old habits and comfort zones, even when we want to do new things in our lives.
But knowing this is the key to mastering it!
What we do and who we spend time with influences our habits, how we see ourselves and what we feel we are capable of doing, which in turn impacts the actions we are willing to take and the results we get. Combined, it ultimately reinforces the identity we have defined for ourselves.
When you change the habits, you also give yourself the opportunity to change the results and consequently that shifts the way you feel and act, which in turn, adjusts your view of yourself and your capabilities, affecting your future actions and results. And the circle keeps going.
This is why new habit formation is the way you build the future of your dreams.
How your habits control daily behavior.
Just like a path in the grass, our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors become more ingrained the more often we travel them. The repetition makes the path easier to follow.
The more often we think a thought, the more patterned it becomes, until it eventually becomes something we believe to be true about ourselves and/or the world around us. Our belief system triggers the emotions that come with our thoughts, affecting our behavior, and in turn, our short and long-term outcomes.
This is why I say that all success starts in the mind first. What you think matters because it impacts what you feel you can or can’t do.
It is also why it is so important to recognize when your inner critic is taking over in your mind when you want to make a change. It is vital to your success to question the validity of what it says because quite often what it is saying isn’t true, and certainly not in all cases.
For example, if you got tongue-tied during show-and-tell when you were in grade school and your classmates laughed at you, it could cause you to form the belief that you are not good at speaking in front of a group of people.
After that time, just thinking about stepping onto a stage or doing a presentation could cause your inner critic to be come louder because it is trying to keep you safe from experiencing that kind of embarrassment again. However, if you go back through your memories, you will find times when you spoke clearly and eloquently in front of a group of people. It might have been at your family dinner table, with your team at work or even telling a story to friends.
Each one of those things proves that the things your inner critic says about you not being a good speaker is untrue.
By challenging the negative inner voice and taking the action that will move you toward your goals, you will find that you also build confidence in your abilities, and with consistency over time, that will lead to new and more supportive thoughts, making the new habit formation even easier!
It’s the consistency that creates momentum.
Even small steps will get you where you want to go and the more often we do something, the easier it is to keep doing it.
This is why, when making changes, we can benefit from taking the following steps:
- Define the goal. When you know what you are working toward, you can tell when you are making progress toward it or you’re off track.
- Make small changes at first to develop the pattern. Work with your brain’s natural behavioral patterns. Because big changes are unpredictable, it is better to make smaller changes that don’t take you so far outside of your comfort zone. So instead of deciding to get up at 5am every day when you normally get up at 7am, start by getting up 10 minutes earlier. Then adjust as you go along, until you reach your goal. The consistency in the smaller steps will make you more effective.
- Celebrate your wins! Every day that you stick with your new habit is something to be proud of. The things we celebrate get repeated because it feels good! Celebrate your progress as often as possible and you will see that you make more progress—faster!
- Remember failure is just data. There may be days when you don’t get up earlier because life happens. Don’t let that reinforce a negative identity pattern or cause you to scrap your whole plan because things don’t go well on one day. Instead, ask yourself:
- What happened that was different than other days?
- How did it affect your habit formation process?
- What can you do to mitigate these factors moving forward?
- How can you now be more successful because of this data?
The difference between intentional and accidental habits.
We all have many influences in our lives and our family is a very big one. Many of our conscious and automatic habits come from our early experiences.
What we eat, how we respond to emotion, how physically active we are, the way we communicate and so much more is influenced by those early experiences. We often repeat these patterns without consciously thinking about them or questioning them.
These are accidental habits and what happens when we live by default, which, at times can be unhelpful for you in getting more in your life.
Instead, we must learn how to live by design to have the life we truly desire.
That means getting very clear about what you want in your life, examining your habits and deciding which support those desires and the person you want to be, and which habits take you away from them.
Creating positive habits that support your long-term outcomes.
To start creating the positive habits that reinforce the growth you want in your life, you must align them with your greater purpose and your goals.
Consider all the areas of your life. When you think about your bigger vision, how close is each area to representing it?
- Which areas are in alignment?
- Which need some work?
- What habits do you have that are holding you away from the life you want?
- What ones support it?
- What habits in each area are in line with your ideal self?
- How can you stack on the habits you already have to become more successful?
- What do you need to stop doing?
- What do you need to start doing?
- Who can help you develop your habits for success?
As you start to build your personal development strategy for success, start with the one area that will have the most impact on your life. That might mean that it improves one area greatly or it could mean that one thing affects many areas at the same time.
For example, you may feel that developing your relationships at home will have the biggest impact on your feelings of joy and connection. Or you might decide that working on your communication could improve your family relationships, your professional relationships, increase your ability to bring in more business or get a promotion and expand your social network too, also increasing your joy and connection.
Only you can decide what works best for you and where you want to dedicate your time, effort and energy.
Your path for more intentional living really comes down to the long-term outcomes you want for your life. Once you have the direction, you can start to consciously build the habits and behavioral patterns that support those outcomes.
Because your mindset has such a big impact on your ability to attain the success you want, it’s important to become very specific about what you feed your mind. The more you can consume (read, watch or listen to) positive things, the easier it will be to develop the mindset and habits that support your bigger vision.
This is why I developed my ATM—the Abundance, Tips and Mentoring that you can bank on to feed your mind with thoughts, knowledge and insights to build your long-term outcomes.
When you access my ATM, you will receive a daily audio file, via email and text, which will help you improve your:
✓ Financial know-how,
✓ Confidence,
✓ Wealth in every area of your life,
✓ Energy,
✓ Money mindset,
✓ And so much MORE!
It is the easiest way I can think of to cultivate the mindset and build the habits that will bring you the life you so richly deserve.