There are times when I lack confidence. Does that surprise you? The truth is, no matter how self-composed someone may look, there are places in their life where they too …
We all face drama in various forms every day. It isn’t easy to change your perspective to remain positive. Someone is upset at me…things aren’t going as I planned…my children aren’t behaving…what’s for dinner…why don’t people communicate clearly…I got a flat tire on my way to work. Sometimes this might all be in one day! As Captain Jack Sparrow so wisely shares, “The problem is not the problem. Your attitude about the problem is the problem.” Here are a few strategies to change your perspective when you feel caught up in drama.
Distance Yourself from Negativity
Have you ever noticed that it is often easier to focus on the negative than find the positive? When you are in a state of high emotion, logic often goes out the window. This can push you down a spiral of negative thoughts. If the people you spend the most time with tend to linger in negativity…it is going to be nearly impossible for you to escape being pulled into the same pool of negativity. Managing the negativity you allow into your life isn’t just a matter of the people around you. Think about the type of content you are consuming and the messaging that you are allowing to subconsciously program your mind every day.
Change Your Perspective by Changing Your Inputs
In order to change your perspective, you need to change your emotional and mental inputs. Find sources of positive influence such as books, blogs, and spiritual leaders. Don’t rely solely on sources of information that focus on the undesirable things happening in our world. Find podcasts and news feeds dedicated to sharing positive news, such as the Good News Network. You can even influence what comes across your social media feed by choosing not to interact with people whose news feeds are littered with negativity. And don’t forget to be your own resource for positive messaging. Employ affirmations and pay attention to your self-talk.
Manage Your Expectations
Upset comes from unmet expectations. It is disappointing when we think someone is going to do something and they don’t follow through. We cannot control what someone else does. However, we can better manage our own expectations. If someone has revealed himself or herself to be unreliable, but you still expect that person to follow through on something, you haven’t set anyone up for the greatest potential outcome. Be sure you are clear in your communication of expectations and avoid making assumptions to reduce drama in your life caused by unmet expectation.
Acknowledge When Something isn’t Permanent
There is a lot in life that we are unable to change. Thankfully, many of the daily dramas that we face are temporary. The terrible traffic you were sitting in earlier- now you aren’t. The family member that seems to always find ways to say hurtful things- you can choose to limit your time with that person. The team member creating toxicity in your business can be provided an opportunity to be happy elsewhere. Although you cannot change the behaviors or attitudes of others, you can change your perspective to recognize that the drama does not have to last any longer than you let it.
Look for the benefit
There is no question that Napoleon Hill is one of the greatest thought leaders of our time. His work was monumental in propelling the self-development industry. A foundational philosophy behind Hill’s messages is that, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” In his Inc.com article, Nicolas Cole shares how a catastrophic injury at the age of 14 destroyed his childhood dreams and from that came new opportunity. It also taught him always look the positive. It will not necessarily be obvious. You will need to put the effort into seeking it out. How would a change in your perspective create new opportunity for you? One of the most powerful tools that I have found for changing my perspective is the book Outwitting the Devil, written by Hill after the publication of Think and Grow Rich.
It has been shared that it takes up to 6 positive thoughts to counteract one negative thought. Because happiness is something found within, be creating a change in your perspective, you can have a profound impact on your own happiness.